Am I on?

d

Hello?  Yes!  Hi!  Check 1…..(throat clear)….Ok…..so…….

Hi!!!!!   I finally DID this.  Were you losing faith?

Let me explain.  I started this blog in the air on the way from Atlanta to Los Angeles.  I was Facebook messaging my friend, Jeff Cole, a fellow actor and he said “Hey!  Start a blog!”  So I said “OK!”  And I did.  In fifteen minutes.   I had no idea it was that easy.  You can actually go online RIGHT NOW and click a few buttons and BOOM you’re a blogger.  I sat there with a big grin on my impulsive blogging face and then thought oh dang, I guess I have to blog something now because I am an official blogger person.  Perhaps I should have thought of that before naming my domain.  It took a little time for my logistics to catch up with my artistry.   I’m an actor, this is common.

The reason starting a blog makes me so ridiculously happy is because I am also writing a book which makes me ridiculously frustrated.  “Hey! Write a book about your family!” people say,  and I’m all “OK!”, which makes me hope that no one suggests robbing a bank because clearly I am up for anything.

But books take SO LONG to write.  Did you know that in order to write a book you actually have to……write a book?  That is so demanding.  Universe, your standards are too high!  The book idea started because we have had some crazy stories happen on this pursuit to the grand heights of Hollywood, and I was compelled to write them down so I would not only NOT forget what happened, but so I could process.  The entertainment business gives you a masters degree in……processing.  And I wanted the stories to inform those of you coming after us.  

BUT, I also have a lot of random musings about this business in general that won’t necessarily FIT into the book, so….the BLOG.  Usually these musings are really stupid and benefit no one at all, but I figure, THIS IS MY BLOG.  I can put whatever stupid, random musings I want on here and no one can stop me because I am the BIG BOSS of the entire staff of me!   

I am drunk with power.

People always ask me, in regards to our participation as a family in the entertainment BIZ……”How did you guys end up where you are???? Like, what did you DO to make that happen?”   And then I open and close my mouth seventeen times in fits and starts before I finally just say, “One audition at a time.”

If you would have told me at 17 when I entered Penn State as a freshman theatre major that some day I would not only be working in movies and television shows myself, but that I would have four children who did the same, I would have just stared at you, then turned and quietly continued eating my ramen noodles. 

I mean, yes, I had big dreams.  Yes, I wanted fame.  I absolutely knew that fame cost and right there was where I started paying……in sweat….not really, because I’m not a dancer, Debbie Allen, but still.   However, for all my taking steps in some directions,  I did not REALLY TRULY believe I would ever accomplish a thing.  How does one end up on Broadway or in a movie?  It seemed an impossible feat that would happen…way down there….in the future sometime.  I had no idea where the road was that led to these far off fantastical places.  I just knew the road was going to be long. The night was going to be dark and full of terrors. In fact, I was so convinced of this that I sat down and wrote a terribly over dramatic poem the first day of college.

Here is the terribly over dramatic poem:

IMG_3381.JPG

I despise myself.  I even sketched the tree I was looking at BEHIND the words in a artsy metaphorical dramatic way.  LORD.   Hey 17 year old Kelly, you are PATHETIC and it will take you forever to accomplish things!  Lots of failure coming your way kid.  Have fun, go State!

But I continued to stumble along blindly, one audition at a time, and one humiliating moment after another,  I got somewhere.  And then my children got somewhere.  We got to some pretty darn cool “where’s” if you know anything about us.  And ya’ll are like ‘Ooooh woooow, cool, ya’ll are  so lucky!”.  But what you don’t see is the road of disappointment it took to get there.  The sheer volume of auditions we put out into the universe.   The flat on your face failures.  The absolute nervous breakdowns where you rip your clothes off and run naked into the cul-de-sac screaming “WHYYYYYYYYYYYYY GOD WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!”

Perhaps that’s just me.

While it seems like we’ve lucked out, or things have just “happened for us”, let me be clear.  The road hasn’t always been easy.   In fact, despite the strides we have all made, I threaten to quit this biz on a daily basis.  Ask my manager, Brad. 

Typical text conversation with Brad:

Me:  THIS IS SO STUPID.  I HATE THIS BUSINESS
Brad:  He’ll get the next one.
Me:  Well there’s not gonna BE A NEXT ONE because we quit! Check is in the mail. Bye.
Brad:  Talk tomorrow?
Me:  Yeah.

Sometimes we want to give up.  And sometimes we have given up for short periods to regroup.  But on the whole, we have learned that small bits of consistent effort, over time, can land you in some pretty amazing places.   I think this is true whether you are in OUR business, or trying to get healthy, or maybe building an oil well in Iraq like one of my best friends. How we are best friends is a mystery.

I hope tales of our journey in THIS business will inspire you to never give up in whatever business you were created to pursue.  We need oil wells in Iraq (I’m pretty sure).   We need moms who absolutely devote themselves to ‘momming’.  We need people who sell us stuff and create stuff to be sold.  Who make amazing food and and take our trash away and build us some roads and (subliminal suggestion) send me lots of free stuff to shout out.  

This is not a blog, and it won’t be a book, about how to get into the business.  There are plenty of great books that already cover that and I’ll leave that to them.  This is about what happens on the way, and what happens when you get there.  There are quite a few life lessons that can apply to humanity as a whole and I have things to say about it. If you’ve entered my domain, I’m just going to assume you’d like to hear them.

We happen to be  people who play pretend for a living.  We’re not curing cancer but we sure hope to entertain the people who are when they just need to escape for a while or be inspired.  So calling all the tired and poor, all the huddled masses yearning to breathe free.  I hope you’ll click on my cartoony head and find some escape, and most of all, some inspiration in the tales of our….

LIFE IN THE HONEYWAGON

Come on in, it’s cozy in here.   

22 thoughts on “Am I on?

  1. Good luck!! Looking forward to this. Best wishes for many words, phrases and sentences. Paragraphs too.
    Seatbelts are fastened, we’re ready to read … let it rip!!

    Barb & John

  2. I felt like I was sitting down with you having coffee or maybe a martini while I was reading your blog! I liove it and look forward to reading more.

  3. Congrats my friend- you are the proud owner of the first and only blog I will probably ever read! (Because you make me smile!) Love it so far–look forward to more entertainment with the Lintz’s!! Your humility and grace with how you handle your journey amazes me!
    Debbie E.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *